If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
