pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
