so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
