i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
