So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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