He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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