Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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