my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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