Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
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