he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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