can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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