My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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