and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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