This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
