I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
