Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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