I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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