walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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