fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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