a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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