I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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