you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
