I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
