I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
