I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
