My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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