I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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