Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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