I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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