it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
