Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
