"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
