Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
