He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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