Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
