I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
