I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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