Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
