im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
