I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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