Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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