quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
