If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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