About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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