Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
