i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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