i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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