I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
