Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
