quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
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